Author’s note: The topic is about personal experience. This should finally settle the age-old dilemma of deciding whether it should be the first or the next one.

Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. kasi, hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una. (If you are in love with two people, pick the second one because you would not love another if you already truly love the first one) - Taken from a text message, unknown author.

Coming from the “Dar-view” (perception coherent with the author’s opinion), this is appears to be logically sound. One should not look at his/her own ideals of what his/her partner should be, but rather on how satisfied and contented you feel. This may initially seem to ironically debunk my “love is a choice” concept but on the contrary, it actually strengthens it. Having clouded with what may seem to be identical feelings toward two people, we actually see the problem of relying on our feelings such that we realize that we now have to rely on our choice because it would be most unwise to love two people at the same time. It is already a given fact that the one in dilemma had already tried to compare the two people and that it just turned out that they are equal in the overall score. That is when the saying should apply.

Satisfaction.

This is what you should apply. Although one can never be totally satiated, we must try to be satisfied regarding certain aspects of our lives in order to be free from such a dilemma. If you CHOOSE to be contented with whom you already have, then there is no more question to bring up to and that you should then stop entertaining the idea of the second person.

You do not deserve those which you can not keep.

Inasmuch as we can not love two people at the same time, we can not say that “I deserve him” or what I now call the “self-righteous syndrome” (as tackled in my previous post, the self-righteous person irrationally believes that he deserves something greater than what is actually true). You can not deserve two people at once and must ultimately set one free (not unless they are willing to live on a triad relationship, you must be be so lucky!). Admit it, you can not keep two, release one.

There are a lot of things considered to be a commodity: Ideas, money, natural resources, products, by-products, manpower, so on and so forth.

But there is one commodity that applies to all and especially for me: TIME.

Yes, if you may have money to spend, ideas to impart, natural resources to distribute, manpower to offer, but do you have the time to do so?

It is true, time is gold.

Time is also the best gift you can offer anyone, and time is relative. Even if you have a lot of idle time such that you have a lot of time in hand, it doesn’t mean it should not be important although its importance is diminished subjectively. Take into account that a minute spent is a minute lost FOREVER.

Although it may be true that time may go forward for eternity, our lives do not.

One man may have money but what is he going to use it for? Surely you have to spend it somewhere sometime for you certainly can not bring it with you when you turn to dust. If you come to think of it, most people think that money is the most important commodity such that they forget to realize that if you have all the money in the world, you would not have enough time to spend it all. Worse, you can not buy time (for now, perhaps) but your time can make money. I’m contrasting money with time because I feel that a lot of people really root for money as the greatest commodity.

In the big sense, for those who have a lot of money already, they want more money not because they need it… But perhaps to create this impression in history… a legacy (save for those greedy politicians who just want more, I’m talking about people like Warren Buffett). Because they know that sooner or later their time will come to a halt and they do not want to be seen as just someone who used his borrowed time and be forgotten. So what they really invest on is… time to be remembered.

We have heard about the psycho-girl, now, we tackle the worse kind… the psycho-girlfriend.

A psycho-girlfriend is someone who hovers in her own cyclical reality. She is egocentric, thus, everything negative that happens to the relationship is the guys fault, and she’ll definitely say that she’s tired of arguing about it.

For instance, personal experience aside, a friend has this girlfriend X and she’s a psycho-girlfriend. She agonizes over the smallest mistakes making a mountain out of a mole hill, rants about it to her boyfriend (who is also probably stupid enough not to dump her despite the relationship turning into a recurring nightmare), and blames it all to the guy while claiming that she’s the messiah by taking all the sacrifices she has to do in order to save the relationship.

X: Nasan ka?! (Where are you?!)

Wimpy dude: Sa bahay ni A. (In A’s house.)

X: Bakit hindi ka nanaman nagsabi sakin?! (Why didn’t you tell me where you are?!)

W.D.: Magtetext palang… (I was about to text…) — She cuts him off and nags and rants and blabs and goes wild.

This is ALWAYS followed by “Lagi nalang tayo nagaaway…” (We’re always arguing…), with the subsequent reconciliation and it’s deja vu the next day.

Notice that the woman has a way of preventing the conflict by simply letting the issue slide, afterall, it’s not life-threatening. Another thing is that she forgets the fact that she is NOT supposed to be the center of a guy’s universe. Yes, we can all go cheesy singing songs and poetry about women being the sunshine of his life or whatnot, but this is supposed to be a voluntary act.

A secondary problem about their kind is that the first resort of these women is anger followed by the severance of the relationship (breakup). Albeit they are (supposedly) rational beings, they lose control and lets out the Pavlov’s Dog in them by reacting to circumstances without thinking. Like salivating upon hearing the bell, they go berserk over the smallest things.

If you’re guilty of being a psycho, here are some helpful tips:

Remember that it always takes two to tango. A guy could have been negligent not to report to you, but you could have simply told him to “try not to forget it next time” than to go wild. This only means that you have a part in the argument as well. Love is about understanding, is it not?

Never resort to break up if it is not final. Do you want to look stupid by ending the relationship and try to restore it a few hours later? Great stupidity comes great responsibility, try not to make your partner miserable, be responsible for your own stupidity.

It could help to write your reasons for your anger, and I do mean the primary cause such as “he did not text when he got home” or something. If you see that you have written it a lot of times already, you can point this out to your partner and TALK about it. However, if he forgets to tell you where he is once a week or less, you’re in the wrong, fool!

Keep your calm.

Try not to blurt out emotionally-infested outbursts towards your partner. (Have you tried throwing plates on the wall?) (You can also hit the wall HARD with your head to let it all out)

Be mature about matters concerning the relationship, handle it with care.

Always keep an open mind.

P.S. This is applicable to psycho-boyfriends as well, just try to reverse everything gender-sensitive in the post.

P.P.S. You can show this to your psycho-girlfriend and let her argue with me if she freaks out.