(this is just a rough draft, will be reedited soon)
Definition: “The “you’re together but not really” stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Pseudo-girlfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite committed lovers.” (Quoted from Myriel’s post)
In my personal perspective, a serious relationship is better. But if that relationship would mean incessant demand of my time, attention, funds, energy, and whatnot, I’d rather go for something less such as a pseudo-relationship or simply put, fling. What Myriel said with regard to fling before a serious relationship is very agreeable. One does will never get to know another person until they begin the “you and me” phase even if it is not in the serious sense of the word. Then and there you will get to see whatever demons are hiding inside your prospective partner and it is a good thing to see them early to know whether you can take them or not in the future. If yes, then you can proceed to a serious one… if no, glad you took the chance… there will be no “what ifs” nor “what could have beens”.
What normally happens is that people often enter this phase without proper consent and it turns out that there is a disparity in their intent and motive. The easiest way to avoid this situation is to make it casual and have this sort of declaration of policies at the beginning of the phase to be able to work within the bounds agreed upon. I know this would not be easy because a fling might not turn out to be a fling, but rather a failed attempt because of it, but this is the risk one should be willing to take so ask to lessen the risk of hurting the opposite sex. I guess for one to be able to walk the talk, there are rules to be followed:
1. Declaration of the absence of commitment
2. NOT saying those three little words (this is a crucial determinant)
3. Not getting too involved emotionally
4. Not deceiving the other person into believing on a serious relationship
5. Not talking about the future with him/her
You’ll most likely know if you are a fling if:
1. You don’t know much of his friends
2. You’ve never met a family member
3. The opposite party avoids the “serious talk” and evades the “love” topic
4. You guys go out only for a booty call
5. You guys barely walk around malls and have good, clean fun
Well, following the rules of not falling, a fling is not so bad (these are also the reasons why some people like it better than serious relationships):
You guys won’t have those trivial misunderstandings,
it’s okay if you forget to text early in the morning or say good night
if you find someone new, it’s all good
giving gifts and remembering whateversaries are not a problem
no envy nor jealousy
you can focus on your priorities without anyone demanding your time and attention
you don’t have to worry about infidelity
you have someone to go out with on a lonely day
booty calls mean good exercise
the feeling may not be mutual, but the benefit is
The problems with pseudo-relationships are tackled in Myriel’s post:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=47551854496&ref=mf&.php%3Fid%3D725561162
In the end, fling has its beauty… and so does serious relationships. It’s up to the circumstances and is applicable in a case to case basis.
