I always say love should be a choice. Although it can never be absolutely and positively confirmed, and all I can do is to keep on supporting this idea. As life itself is all about experience, we never cease to learn, and therefore allowing me to further my idea of ‘choice”.
Anyway, me and my friend were talking about relationships and I was trying to convince my friend that love is a choice. As what normally happens, we have to argue about it (this goes for all the others as well). Making the long story short, turns out my argument is quite convincing and in the process, I was able to argue to her this idea:
Love as a feeling can be invoked, but choice is never tainted. -Dar
If one will rely on love as a feeling, it would be disastrous. Feelings may be invoked by a number of factors: “the moment“, “the situation“, and other stuff like that. The analogy here is to try and pinch yourself, and you feel pain… get caught up in the moment, or when you’re depressed and someone comes to you to pull you up, you feel love, then there’s also this creature called the “infatuation”.
But with choice, oh no, you are never deceived. You may be tortured be coerced to choose something, but in your mind and heart, you know that it is not what you really want.
Love as feeling could be: “I love you because have no choice since it’s you I fell in love with” initially, it seems sweet, but it could turn out to be an empty obsession.
Love as feeling is “I love you because you are the one I chose” res ipsa loquitur… enough said.
In love as feeling, you can inadvertently fall out of love, which is uncontrollable, but in choice, you only choose to fall out of it, making it more stable if you’re with a mature person (although more unstable if with an immature one).
Say your piece.
How conceited! You even manage to quote yourself. Hope nobody reads this. Full of self-centered crap.
Conceit. It’s The World of Dar after all.
And sorry, but your hope will remain as it is.
Oh, maybe you are one of my “disappointed friends”?
Anyway, if you make a comment next time, I hope it would be in a more constructive manner like debunking what I say instead of adding MORE CRAP to this site.
Let us do away with bitterness and try to be objective.
oh dar this is good :)) i agree with you 100%
thats the reality..maybe im still a kid..but in my mind it goes the same..
love aint a feeling..its a decision!!
ftw dar hahaha
Something that was not chosen by both the heart and mind is destined to fall like Babylon.
LOL to Anonymous because IMO, something that makes sense would only be perceived as conceited by someone stubborn, self-righteous, unwilling to change, and thus would remain a dull stone forever.
Yay Dar.
That is how life goes… we live our lives purely on decision every moment, every act, and every path we take is what we decided on.
Though most of the times the part where things seem like “there was no choice” is when we are too afraid to face the consequence of that choice. And most of the time “feelings” prevail either for the good or bad of it all.
It is normal to fear the unknown hence we think that a wrong choice was the end of the world (well at one point i did.. but still failed miserably)so we let our feelings drive us…
Love is pretty much an uncharted map for anyone as another person is always unknown and is something we need to discover for ourselves.
If love was purely of ” no choice” then why does love triangles…rectangles.. or any love “polygon” exist? and most of the time it is this (choice A) or this (choice B) or this (Choice C) or so forth… and someone has to suffer… always… (i have witnessed a sad triangle though.. made worse by indecisiveness )
In the light of the phrase “all is fair in love and war” (in a sense both are similar in so many ways ) and in the song “Love is a battlefield” by pat benatar
Parts of the lyrics depict a “choice” and in a battlefield (both real and virtual) it is filled with choices…
“Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing youve had? ”
In both love and war, we choose to do what we think is right…
I agree with you guys, but I still am trying to figure out where on earth Anonymous is standing on. There’s just no argument and I hope she replies so we may be enlightened.
and that’s why we have troy in our history books…
“the moment“ and “the situation”
nakz naman…
i totally agree with you dar, the topics that you right about are the ones that immature people never really like because they know that you are absolutely correct! they are afraid of the truth and they shall remain immature until they grow old with grief in their hearts and minds and DIE… >:)
nax love guru!
anyhow i think love is not really a choice. I mean, 1 argument is that there are couples where the guy or girl is good looking and their partner isn’t. Being a rational being, if indeed love is a choice, then why would you pick someone that is not good looking? yes, the analogy is superficial/shallow but have you considered the possibility that love has its own way of matching two people? another argument: if love is a choice then why is there a situation where people even if they chose to love someone, they cant really force themselves to truly love that person?
bottom line: love is a system that is beyond one’s reach that turns the “you and i” into “us”.
the “choice”, for me, only comes after the falling-in-love stage. the choice of staying in that relationship or not. this is especially true when couples hit rough waters. the choice becomes apparent if you will hold-on to that relationship or not. An example of this is marriage, throughout the duration of marriage, there are times that the couple’s passion for each other subsides, but its the choice of sticking to that promise in front of god or what have you that will make all the difference. Those that choose to stick in that relationship will have the change to rekindle the fire that was once there.
side note: nice posts ha? napapaisip mga readers.