There is this category of the opposite sex, or even the same sex for that matter, “The One”, which more often than not ironically turns out to be “not-really-The-One” (NRTO).
Why?
For the simplest reason that there is only ONE genuine “The One”.
Most of the people you categorize to be “The One” will turn out to be a mistake, hoax if you may, and only one will eventually withstand all the waves of the relationship woes and would probably stick with you until the end, the end being the exchange of vows in front of the altar. This may seem to be horse sense, but truth of the matter is we hardly think of such commonplace ideas because we subconsciously think that it is not necessary because we know all about it… but then again, not really.
Now what is the sense in talking about this? The answer lies in the confusion that follows “The One”. Of course, most of us enter a relationship not because of anything else but the genuine, albeit shrouded, belief that the person you are going to be in a relationship with is “The One” for you (at least for the time being). So, what’s the sense of categorizing a person to be “The One” despite uncertainty and the unknown of the future? It is the fact that you will love the person indiscriminately and without reservations even if the past taught you that life sucks, that love hurts, and that the only thing permanent in the world is change.
Point of personal experience taken, it is when you call someone “The One”, who turns out to be NRTO, so you are left with no better option than to move on, finds someone new, call her “The One”, fails, so on and so forth. That despite the fact that you feel you have made a fool of yourself by claiming each and every serious girlfriend you had to be “The One” sometime in the past, you insist on focusing here and now, giving her (your present One) full benefit of the doubt, and though the uncertain time we call “future” might bring bad news you still risk making a fool of yourself for the nth time and eat your own words… just for her.
However, the important elements of calling someone “The One” are:
(1) That you, during the time of your relationship, sincerely BELIEVES that she is the one for you;
(2) you are in Love;
(3) and you exact all your effort to try and make it work.
With the absence of any of these, it is nothing but mere infatuation. This is not comprehensive, and are only indicated as the factors which are crucial and relevant to the topic.
Nice.
Thanks
this is a topic i think most of the girls i think would understand.. coz for what ive seen.. its the girls who calls guys “The One”.. coz beliv it or not majority of the guys usually squanders with their curiosity on the opposite sex where in girls or the ladies are very much into love itself.. so deep that when they fell in love.. they would think that their current BFs are “The One”… which will they soon find out that they are NTRO…. agreed?
Yep, I guess “The One” complex is applicable to people who are driven by emotions, although mine is by choice.
Most people would call their BF or GF as the one because it would be rather stupid to enter in a relationship that you believe is doomed right from the start. Of course there are those exceptions where a person has hidden agendas as to why he or she still chooses to enter a doomed relationship.
PS. I just posted so that I can say that I’m not like Ravenus who is according to him, “a no brainer.” Lol.
Well from what i have seen there is this undeniable fact people BELIEVE to be otherwise, no matter how grave, no matter how stupid others think may think it to be so. Though I think “the one” may not completely be driven only by pure emotion but like the post stated above, maybe driven by ulterior motives. Its often times not A or B (in this case choice and emotions) but a blurry mix of both.
Regardless of finding “THE ONE” be either emotions or by simple logic of choices, it is basically the human process of TRIAL AND ERROR. But I believe that somewhere along the line, they would meet and people would find what they are looking for eventually…
Emotional / Romanticist Logical / Realist
“The ONE” or “Destiny”—-> “Significant Other” <—–”Chosen”
Now that is what I call a remarkable insight! I like this part “it is basically the human process of TRIAL AND ERROR” indeed it is, and we fail or utterly refuse to take it as such… But if we move away from emotions, societal dictates, morals, and everything establishment, it is indeed one big TRIAL AND ERROR.
Furthermore, I think it has become trial and error because of the intrinsic uncertainty in life… and with good reason!
I’m sure to use that trial and error concept in the near future.