Archive for the 'Life' Category

23
Feb

A little secret

Women look at what’s in your noggin, believe me. Although the physical aspect is important, it is rendered minute when on par with the mind. Another predicament is that if you have both, it backfires. Remember the saying:

Too much of a good thing is wonderful. - Mae West

NOT!

Too much of a good thing is intimidating. I guess this is where the playing field evens out again. No matter how hot a woman is, she has her own set of insecurities and Mr. Perfect here will surely pass through one of such by just being with her. That way, he would not be as perfect as she thinks he is right after he passes through that “insecurity gap” and cause her defenses to spring up.

To start off, I am, in a way, physically okay. I have a good and sound mind, I am of good standing, and I am a law student. I’m not claiming any degree of perfection, but I have to admit, having these traits has its perks. If I am to be seen as an average dude, my being in law school dramatically pushes my rating. But, as I have said, good things has their toll. There are a number of women who initially see me in a positive light, but once they find out I’m studying law, they are suddenly repelled. Why? Search me. Even I am not able to comprehend such a thing. Given limited rationalization, I think it will boil down to me being a law student since we know how lawyers are. That, I believe, intimidates some women.

To continue with this weird-stringed thought: I have come to realize, after about a year and a half from first writing this down and saving it as a draft, that it still holds true. It did well pass the test of time so it is now deemed worthy to post so just play along with my derailed writing.

Everything has its toll. I guess that’s why Newton’s third law of motion holds true in every aspect of our lives: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Do pray tell Sir Isaac Newton.

14
Aug

P-Realization

Author’s note: To be politically correct, it would be better to term this as “Post-Realization” although it was originally coined by a friend in referring to a certain instance. (Again, the Author uses PINK font color for the terms he personally coined, or at the least he thinks he did.

_________________________________________________________________
P-Realization - A sudden realization of something which as been existing or which permeated long enough for most people to notice. This is mostly guided by common sense or basic life experience.
Example:

Hey, I just realized… What if we start thinking before we act? I think that’s a really good idea because it would allow us to act not in an impulsive way.

_________________________________________________________________

These P-Realizations are occurrences we should analyze before expressing because it would save us much shame. By thinking this way, we can also start to reach the root of the problems rather than think of the problem to be the root in itself. There is a limitation to this, however. Since it is something that we do not usually notice by ourselves, we can normally brand P-Realizations through other people looking at the things happening to us. Moreover, this may be caused by personal bias and/or defense mechanisms making them harder to notice and accept.

The goal now is to determine whether or not a realization would be a genuine one, or just a P-Realization.

There is no secret technique to this. In order to be able to see something as it is, we need to learn to detach ourselves from our fears and face the very devil in doing so. One should ask himself these questions:
1. What am I afraid of?

2. What do I do when I face these fears? What usually happens?

3. Why am I so reluctant to face it?

4. What can I do about it?

This is not a sure-fire cure, but this is the best one can do without any expert help.

If symptoms persist, consult your doctor.

03
May

Self-righteousness

Author’s note: This is one of the author’s worst sins, admittedly, this is the reason why his ego is sometimes too high for the people around him to tolerate. Regardless, this normally occurs during his DotA games. It is also based on personal experience and observation of other people.

Without me, none of these would not work… - Self-centered person (can be anyone)

YEAH RIGHT.

This is an over-estimation of one’s worth. It shrouds one’s thoughts and imposes a certain false reality making one believe that no one is as capable as he. Though this occurs in most people, it is manifested variably. Some may keep this to themselves and agonize about the performance of others, some declare their importance outright, while there are also some who use it to their advantage. Regardless of the existence of different types, these people are self-righteous all the same. Constructive utilization of this mindset yields to productivity while negative manifestation leads to hate and more problems.

The author admits to all the different manifestations and uses them on a case to case basis.

This also coincides with the Messiah Complex where a person believes that he is the savior of mankind capable of exacting great change to humanity, or at the least someone whom people should depend on.

When applied to relationships, what normally happens is that either one takes all unnecessary sacrifices to fulfill one’s craving of importance making his/her efforts to be the only thing that keeps the boat afloat, or one that feels he/she should be treated as royalty by the other party neglecting the fact that relationships are two-way streets that requires sacrifices from the both of them.

So what do they get exactly? They get that oh-so-wonderful-feeling of being needed even if it is not really the absolute fact. Such people try to dwell on their false reality of thinking they are indispensable and that alone makes them feel better already. Though it is not harmful as it may seem, when self-righteousness is excessive and UNNOTICED by the person exhibiting this, it becomes extremely volatile and dangerous.

__________________________________________________

Questions to ask yourself to realize one’s worth:

Do people see my importance the way I see it myself?

How long will people mourn for me until they revert to their daily routine when I die?

Will they continue trading stocks tomorrow if I die today?

Am I more popular than Jesus Christ?

Will the Sun rise tomorrow if I die today?

Will time stop tomorrow if I die today?

__________________________________________________

I rest my case.

21
Jan

Risks Inc.

Life is all about risks. Inasmuch as life is also all about waiting, choices, and the like, risks are part of our daily routine which comes along with our choices.

Risks give rise to opportunities, and applying the basic principle of business and economics:

More risk = More gain

Less risk = Less gain

Elementary.

Let’s say you invest 1 million to put up a small supermarket or you invest 10 thousand pesos for a sari sari store. Enough said.

However, the most we can do about risks is to try and be precise in predicting the statistical potentialities because we can never create accurate calculations of risk. Perhaps it would be safe to say that there will forever be at least a 1% margin of error, or else, it would be stupid and erroneous to call something a “risk” when there’s a 100% chance of predicting it.

Moving from the numerical aspect, what’s even more interesting is that it applies not just in the usual economic flow but to life itself. For every choice we make, we choose one risk from another. Choosing to wake up early is a risk in as much as choosing which woman to pursue is.

Let’s say a 10dude is in a bar and he sees a 7.5gal to his left and a 9gal to his right. Basing it on mere common sense, we all know he likes the 9 better. So why would that kind of a situation put someone in a dilemma? It would all boil down to the chance of getting dumped. Realistically speaking, 7.5gals have the most chances of entertaining an 8 to 10dude and a 9 to 10gals are most likely to dump men even if the gal is a 9 and the dude is a 10. It would then be wiser for him to choose 7.5 if he is risk-averse, but that would mean a smaller gain. If he chooses 9, he’d have more satisfaction if all goes well, but it exposes him to a bigger chance of getting dumped as well.

These however can not be taken into account by other people. They think that it’s enough to go right in a situation without assessment “barbaro style” but despite my clain of subscribing to the utilization of the same, I, for a fact, try to consider as much possibilities as I can.

Risks are here to stay, we just have to be aware of how high or low the chances are based on our own disposition towards observation. The risks are present in everyone’s lives, what turns the playing field around is one’s own capacity to recognize and interpret this “game of chance”.

Try to assess your next move.

07
Nov

The Real Men

Author’s note: I am recently reading “Wild at Heart”, a book which demythifies the “man” saying that we are created with a wild heart.

The book’s quotable quote:

Where are all the men in the world…?

: You have made them women.

Not to undermine the importance of women, but we are just not the same. Women are born to be noticed, to be appreciated, and loved. Men are born to be wild!

We want to be the one to rescue the fair damsel from the castle prison or slay the dragon. Women want to be the one to be appreciated and rescued by her knight in shining armor.

What’s the point then?

The second line in the quote above shows the effect of establishment. We are imprisoned by the dictates of our society. I noticed my nephews want to play with guns, Counterstrike, Halo 3, and the like and what do I hear from their parents? Don’t play with guns, don’t watch violent movies, and so on. They try to suppress the wild hearts of men. They make them timid, lame, wimpy, and meek. How can you slay the dragon thinking of non-violence, and trying to remember that the left hand SHOULD hold the fork and that your pinky finger should stick out when placing the tea cup down? To top of it all, he’ll look barbaric if his fingernails get dirty.

So, how to slay a dragon? Do it with your wild heart then get a manicure later.

The gist of the book speaks of nurture killing nature. society and Religion killed the passion of men and women such that they are both… bored and tired. Check the Bible, you will see the passionate entries which include bosoms, “gardens”, “fruits”, “nectar”, and such passionate songs by ye ol’ wise man himself, Solomon and even God himself approved of such passionate acts.

If that’s not wild, then I do not know what wild is.

Anyway, the post is in light of my previous adventures. The book is timed right for me to read because when I think of hiking, swimming, diving–anything which would be an outdoor adventure, I just light up and feel elated. The book rationalizes this craving for adventure, dangers and excitement included.

Men are indeed Wild at Heart”, let us be what we are made to be, or be stuck mild and meek rather than a wild and crazy guy.

Now I know why good guys finish last.

31
Oct

Target Fixation

Some say we have to set goals.

I say we all should.

But one must remember to avoid “target fixation”.

Say what?

This is when a person focuses on something so much that he neglects everything else, be it hazards, obstacles, or anything between him and the target. This is one of the possible explanations why the famed Red Baron went down. He fixated on one plane, followed it to a low altitude, and got hit by an anti-aircraft gun, which he could not have been hit if he were on high altitude.

In practical application, this is tantamount to achieving a goal through “all means necessary”. The problem with this is that we become like a giant steamroller, ready to flatten anything that stands between us and the goal we set to the ground and not be stopped by anything. Like everything that is good, this can be bad as well. Sure, it is a good deal if it means flattening all our negativity and overcoming hardships, but what if the ones in front of us are our parents who mean well, or friends who know that the goal we chose will not really do us any good? Target fixation will crush them all along the way.

In Jason Mraz’s I’m Yours song, he mentions “… open up your plans and damn you’re free…” I see the “plans” as the means in order to achieve a particular end or goal so:

You + Plans + Actions = Goals

However, the song says tells people to “open up your plans” and I think this is the right way. Do not fixate on one plan and one goal. Think of your main end goal, and as always, there are plenty of ways to reach it. If you want to become rich, or you want to be able to help other people, or just wish for a simple and quiet life, there are a lot of means to get them. I am trying to emphasize here that “having 50 cars” or “becoming a doctor/lawyer” is not an end goal. These are temporary goals that mean nothing. The end I am trying to instill is the end which is in the general sense, and with a lot of meaning to us, our families, society, or even to a particular industry. There is no road map for anything, so try to be versatile in your plans to meet your goals.

Fixation does the same harm as good, and it spawns minds which is Machiavellian on one side, and erratic on the other. When we fixate, we lose impartiality. We are biased on the positive effects of our ideas that we neglect its negative effects. What’s worse is that no matter how we try to pick out negativity from the fixated target, we will not be able to come up with anything substantial even if other people see it plain. That’s how powerful our minds are. It blocks everything and makes us focus on a goal, but blind on all else.

We are not robots to have everything planned out or encoded step by step to reach something. We are highly subjective humans who are capable of adapting to any circumstance. Flexibility of our body reflects the flexibility of the mind. Like robots who have rigid frames which reflect their artificial and rigid intelligence. They are made of calculations, we are made of hunches, intuition, calculation, analysis, gut-feel, and subjectivity. -Dar

27
Oct

Away from Distractions

Author’s Note: This is an insight gained from actual disconnection from the city life.

There are times when we need to be disconnected from the world. We are too distracted. I really can’t tell whether life out there is better than the city life, I am equally torn. First, there are a lot of things to keep us from being idle here… but I’m not sure whether it is a good thing or not. Second, there’s minimal pollution there… but you rarely see cars. Third, the people there long for Jollibee and Dunkin Donuts… is that a good thing? I guess abundance really ends up in neglect. The more we have, the less we care.

Abundance ends up in neglect. -Dar

Now that’s something new. Although I may have thought of this in passing before, it is only now that I truly realized it. I think the 1-week trip “away from it all” taught me this. The people there seem to care less about nature… while we go to places just to see them for ourselves. And I, for one, hates fast food because I grew tired of them… yet it would be one of the best things that you can bring them as “pasalubong” together with Goldilocks and Dunkin Donuts.

This also goes along with most, if not all, aspects of our lives. Be it with money, love, friends, and the like. Much related to the saying “You never know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone” and with good reason! I’m sure I would not be such a spendthrift and nature-lover if I grew up poorer someplace else. I can not blame the people for not being able to realize the importance of the things and the people we have, because we really have to inhibit ourselves from the same in order to realize them.

For one, I realized the importance of seeing cell sites. In the island of Sibuyan, there are approximately 10 cell sites erected as compared to the hundreds we have. Basing it on land mass, that would be like 1:10 ratio. Bawang there is a great commodity prized at around 80 per kilo while we can get some for 20 per kilo. Their fishes cost five times cheaper and their gas at twenty percent more.

This is the first time that I had such a fruitful trip. I went to Thailand before, but the disparity is not as noticed because of its foreign nature. But going to one of our own provinces and experiencing the life there, one can see how great a gap exists between two islands, literally and figuratively. It was more of an immersion and an eye-opener for me. I met a lot people: the mayor, a vice mayor, a school mentor, the chief of police, and the like. I heard their take on the things I perceived and experienced, and learned a whole lot of stuff! I recommend travelling within the archipelago not only to city people, but to everyone.

11
Oct

Relationship Myth

Most people say, claim and believe that men should do the chasing at first in order to get a girl. We all know that what normally happens is that the tables turn when the relationship commences such that the gals do the chasing thereafter. Although this is a lingering fact, there is also much proof to the effectiveness of  the contrary.

If a man really loves a woman, he would not let the tables turn to the woman’s disadvantage.

As usual, I’ve been there, done that (I don’t know for how many times already).

Applying a little political science theory here, I realized that there should be a balance of power between the two parties. If the guy gets too much advantage where the gal allows him to take absolute control (and vice versa), here arrives the problem.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Sir John Dalberg-Acton

There should always be equitable respect, equitable love, equitable whatnot. Do not be a meek objector, but a persistent one and silence will be misinterpreted as consent. If you allow him to always have things his way, you will begin a trip to a slippery slope and a lose-lose situation.

I don’t know how this affects my post, but I still believe that a guy should have a better say with regard to matters concerning the relationship (and with good reason!).

Anyway, I think it could be reconciled in a way where the girl should be submissive, but not submissive enough to grant the guy the totality of decisions. Like I always say, it is a two-way street. Maybe in the two-way street, the guy has two lanes and the girl has one… it really doesn’t matter as long as it is two-way. Once it becomes one-way, then expect an impending doom to your relationship.

11
Oct

Desperate Person

Sometimes we tend to push some people a little bit too much, and in the process they are forced to be in a lose-lose situation… this is when you should cease your actions no matter what the reason is…

Desperate times call for desperate measures - Unknown

Since a person is pushed to his limits, he will do what he can to bring you down if you push him further. It is a scary thought because a man with nothing more to lose have available last-resorts. Before you push him again, make sure you are willing or capable of losing as much as he would because if you are not, then it will end with the both of you down and beaten… But with you on the disadvatage because he already had nothing to lose halfway down and you are still to lose half of yourself.

Look for signs.

Two of the last aspects a person would lose before the point of desperation are pride and dignity respectively. Once he gives up on there, you better hide or be ready for a sudden death. Driving one person to such extents terminates his rationality and re-activates primal instincts and he will fixate on inflicting maximum damage for his impending loss.

A beast is most dangerous when it is cornered.

That person may be trying to flee from you to begin with. Drive him to a corner and he would have no other choice but to fight. To this effect, he will see any single bit of damage done to you as a worthy cause. Look at the Iraqi insurgents, they have lost their homeland to a foreign invader, branded as terrorists, and lost their way of lives. They developed the thinking that every life of an Iraqi for an American is well worth it. What’s worse is that it is indubitably true. Americans have easy lives, while an Iraqi is most likely within the range of suffering. The former probably earns in a month whatever the Iraqis earn in a year, so basing it on lifestyle, good trade.

I am not sure what recourse should one take, but I know that one should not drive another past their limits.

09
Oct

Two types of leeches

Author’s Note: This is one of my rants on hypocritical people.

In life, I’ve observed two variants of human leeching. “H-Leeches” are parasitic people who latch on others (hosts) in order to benefit from their juices. The type 1 leeches are those which latch on to others and suck enough juice from their host so that they can stay alive and survive the harsh world. They normally cling harmlessly and go unnoticed or are subsequently condoned, if noticed. However, there also exists the type 2 leeches. These leeches are resultant of mutation whereby a type 1 leech is not really a leech because it can fend for its own and are self-sufficient, but chose to leech in order to grow further. This type of parasites are the ones who eventually get too big for their hosts that they ultimately devour them in due time.

So where am I going with leeches and humans?

In my academic life, I observed that such people are always present in your everyday classroom dealings. What I hate most about the type 2 leeches is that they are people who study in their closets, try to look misinformed, and suddenly come up with good grades. I really do not care about whatever grade they get, but if they can get a good grade, the hell with them for still trying to leech on others! I, for one, may at times be mistaken as a “closet nerd”, but heck, maybe I’m just a little bit smarter than the average student? Really, if I say I did not crack the book, I literally didn’t. And if I study, I do so in the library and never anywhere else (except at Gloria Jeans before).

I hate people going around the class uttering their deceptive rambles of how they were not able to study and the like so they ask the people who really study in class to teach them about the subject matter when what really happen is that they try to absorb what the others know to add to their “knowledge pool”. They want to be better than their hosts that is why they do this, and I hate it. When I ask people to help me, I make sure that I get enough to survive, and not take advantage of them… and whatever I know, I try to share whenever possible to such benevolent people.

Well, the moral lesson of this post is that all you fucking type 2 leeches will somehow get what you deserve and maybe… just maybe… fail on the things which really count.

Karma, dear friend.


*H-Leeching does not only apply to the academe, but also in other aspects such as SPENDING (money), and the like.




March 2010
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