Author’s Note: This is an insight gained from actual disconnection from the city life.

There are times when we need to be disconnected from the world. We are too distracted. I really can’t tell whether life out there is better than the city life, I am equally torn. First, there are a lot of things to keep us from being idle here… but I’m not sure whether it is a good thing or not. Second, there’s minimal pollution there… but you rarely see cars. Third, the people there long for Jollibee and Dunkin Donuts… is that a good thing? I guess abundance really ends up in neglect. The more we have, the less we care.

Abundance ends up in neglect. -Dar

Now that’s something new. Although I may have thought of this in passing before, it is only now that I truly realized it. I think the 1-week trip “away from it all” taught me this. The people there seem to care less about nature… while we go to places just to see them for ourselves. And I, for one, hates fast food because I grew tired of them… yet it would be one of the best things that you can bring them as “pasalubong” together with Goldilocks and Dunkin Donuts.

This also goes along with most, if not all, aspects of our lives. Be it with money, love, friends, and the like. Much related to the saying “You never know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone” and with good reason! I’m sure I would not be such a spendthrift and nature-lover if I grew up poorer someplace else. I can not blame the people for not being able to realize the importance of the things and the people we have, because we really have to inhibit ourselves from the same in order to realize them.

For one, I realized the importance of seeing cell sites. In the island of Sibuyan, there are approximately 10 cell sites erected as compared to the hundreds we have. Basing it on land mass, that would be like 1:10 ratio. Bawang there is a great commodity prized at around 80 per kilo while we can get some for 20 per kilo. Their fishes cost five times cheaper and their gas at twenty percent more.

This is the first time that I had such a fruitful trip. I went to Thailand before, but the disparity is not as noticed because of its foreign nature. But going to one of our own provinces and experiencing the life there, one can see how great a gap exists between two islands, literally and figuratively. It was more of an immersion and an eye-opener for me. I met a lot people: the mayor, a vice mayor, a school mentor, the chief of police, and the like. I heard their take on the things I perceived and experienced, and learned a whole lot of stuff! I recommend travelling within the archipelago not only to city people, but to everyone.

Most people say, claim and believe that men should do the chasing at first in order to get a girl. We all know that what normally happens is that the tables turn when the relationship commences such that the gals do the chasing thereafter. Although this is a lingering fact, there is also much proof to the effectiveness of  the contrary.

If a man really loves a woman, he would not let the tables turn to the woman’s disadvantage.

As usual, I’ve been there, done that (I don’t know for how many times already).

Applying a little political science theory here, I realized that there should be a balance of power between the two parties. If the guy gets too much advantage where the gal allows him to take absolute control (and vice versa), here arrives the problem.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Sir John Dalberg-Acton

There should always be equitable respect, equitable love, equitable whatnot. Do not be a meek objector, but a persistent one and silence will be misinterpreted as consent. If you allow him to always have things his way, you will begin a trip to a slippery slope and a lose-lose situation.

I don’t know how this affects my post, but I still believe that a guy should have a better say with regard to matters concerning the relationship (and with good reason!).

Anyway, I think it could be reconciled in a way where the girl should be submissive, but not submissive enough to grant the guy the totality of decisions. Like I always say, it is a two-way street. Maybe in the two-way street, the guy has two lanes and the girl has one… it really doesn’t matter as long as it is two-way. Once it becomes one-way, then expect an impending doom to your relationship.

Sometimes we swoon over things that a person does for us… (Oh shit, this may be detrimental to us men, but what the heck) such as a person giving you a bunch of roses, carrying your stuff, or sparing you his time. Indeed the act may be perceived to be sweet in itself, and when you squeal over the deed, the guy tells you “Oh, it’s nothing :)” but there you go on your cloud nine blinded and struck.

Sadly, the truth of the matter is, it could really be nothing for him.

“Abundance check” is the test you should consider. It’s all about sacrifices, for without which, nothing is worthwhile. You should not be as impressed if what he did or gave you is part of his “abundance” (rich man = money; idle person = time). If a busy person (or at least someone who has something to do with his time) goes out with you, asks you out often, or even waits for you, then that is something to appreciate. But if a normally idle dude does the same acts, it should mean a whole lot less. If a rich dude gives you a dozen roses, it’s nothing. He has a lot of money anyway (unless he’s stingy). If a relatively poor dude gives you half a dozen, it means a whole lot more.

Have you ever thought about it? It’s not really about you being an ingrate, but realistic. I am not saying that acts through abundance are deplorable, but I am just saying that to give everyone equal footing, be a little bit dense and not be caught by “nothing-actions” which are really nothing to the person doing it.

In fact, sometimes such acts could even be acts of selfishness. Imagine a normally idle guy sticking around 24/7. Some might find it sweet, but, Reality Rules, you’re his ticket out of boredom. If a girl takes care of you so much and does a lot of stuff for you, it could be because it makes her feel good as well. She’s doing it because it mainly makes her feel good, and partly because you’re going to feel good as well.

This is also related to giving money to beggars. You might be giving money just to stop them from sticking their grimy faces on your clean windows, that even if you gave them money, you don’t touch the point. It all boils down to compassion. You might not have money to give them, but you have all the sympathy and compassion in your heart… that’s enough.

Sometimes little is just enough.